So many Colleges!!!

I though I already knew what college I wanted to go to. But now I'm not as sure. Zach told me about one that he might be going to and it has a photography area that I would need. It sounds amazing to!! Thing is, is that its in Draper. How am I going to pull going there and staying home off? Dont think I can, so I would have to live in one of their student housing places. At lest I think I would.

I really think it might be a better college for me then SLCC, but its the hole how am I going to get out there? Everyday driving there would add up to alot of gas money, but the houses are like 600 a month. Could I really pay for school and a house there to???

Thats one thing I'm not sure I can handle. Looking at my future that is finally there in front of me, trying to work it all out. Maybe I should stop thinking about it some much. I haven't even started my senior year yet and I'm already thinking of that? Is that a bad or good thing? I mean I'll talk to Mallory about it and it makes me feel like I shouldn't be thinking about this yet. But everything in my head is telling me that the faster I decide and get it all worked out the sooner I can relax about it. I dont even know what my mom is going to say about this hole new college idea. I know that she wont be able to help pay so scholarships are my only chose. But what if i still have to have help. What is she going to do when I tell her its in Draper????

I feel like I'm thinking of to many if's and what's but its a good idea to think about that stuff when it comes to this right? maybe I just should relax alittle more till the middle of the year. But that sounds like a bad plan. The sooner I get going the better it will look on scholarships right? ugh listen to me! I'm so confused and alittle worried about myself. I really just want to know that what I'm doing is a good thing, but how can I find out? my sister thinks that I'm the best person to handle any problem, but how can I talk to her about this when she started out at the ATC then went to a college? She didn't even have to take the stupid ACT!!! That is another thing I have to do. That I'm not really excited to do that.

Speaking of that i have to start studing for that when I can. Ugh if I'm not careful I'm going to stress myself out! I can kinda have already I think. Man I really need to stop thinking.

One thing NOT dealing with college is what am I going to do about my dad and my graduation? do I invite him to it or not even worry about it? what about the family members from him that I do like? how would I get them to come and not him? That is the thing I hate the most about not seeing him. Yea my life is easy now and I'm really happy now, but I miss my Uncle's family and my grandma. I really wish I could at lest have her come but I don't know how I would get a hold of her and would she tell dad?? Man I wish I was young again. Life was so much easier back then. No worries just fun and laughter. What am I going to do?